A right decision

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." It is our own decision to do what we want to do, it is our decision what to believe in, we choose our future. How do we know if we made the right decision? One of the most important decisions that I made is that I Chose to follow Christ. Looking back then, I wasn't really sure if I was doing the right thing. So how do we know what to choose? And what to do? Pray. Even you don't believe, you don't know what to do. Just pray. God will always lead you, tell you what to do, and tell you how to make the right choice. "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24 If a person follow Christ, chooses to make this great decision, then God will provide. Another example of making a right decision is when I went to an orphanage. I was 13. Every time I would hear the world "orphanage", it will make feel sad and uncomfortable. This is a place where kids don't have parents. They need love. They look into your eyes very deep and you feel this warmth inside you, but you don't understand why. Why it is happening to them. For me, it was hard to choose to go or not to go. I really wanted to serve these kids, and be with them, give them 4 hours of love but at the same time there was a part of me that was saying "no" because I felt bad for them, sad, mad, and my heart hurt. I made the decision to go, and that day, God changed me. How I started with a quote that the smallest decisions can change you. Like me, I chose to go, and it was gods plan, He changed me. Making right decisions is hard, your have to think first, and then go and do it. 

Prostitution

Prostitution is one of the most important symbols in Crime and Punishment. Dostoevsky talks about prostitution a lot. The two prostitutes in the novel are Sonya and Dunya, even though Dunya not as much as Sonya. Why does Dostoevsky talk about prostitution? Why is it important? Back then, in Russia, it was really hard to get a job and money, so I think one of the easiest ways to get money for women from rich and corrupt people was to work as a prostitute. We can see how women are ready to sell their bodies for the greater good. Once Sonya gets into that, she loses her innocence. There is not a way out for her. There is no other option to get money. Whose fault is it? Societies? Why women who are prostitutes are shamed by society when it is the actual society that pushes them over the edge. 

The Axe

The symbol that I used in this paragraph is "the axe". In Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, we can read that there is a murder that happens when Raskolnikov kills the pawnbroker and Lizaveta. We do not know what's going on on Raskolnikov's mind but the things that he does are strange. He uses the blunt side murder the old woman and the sharp edge to kill Lizaveta. We don't know why he chose to kill them with an axe and not something different. Raskolnikov is a weird guy and I think his point of view about "the axe" is different. I think "the axe" symbolizes strength, power, and something bigger. There are a lot of other symbols in the novel but I think one of the most favorite symbols is "the axe". We know how Raskolnikov forgets about stuff, and i think it symbolizes the two halves of Raskolnikov's life.

Time

Another symbol that I thought of was time. I think time is one of the important symbols in this novel. As we read, we can see that the time that Dostoevsky shows us is in some kind of order, but it is hard to figure out what he's trying to tell us. Example is when Raskolnikov wakes up and plans to murder. If we think the other way, it confuses us because for example, when Raskolnikov's dreaming he loses time. In the beginning of Part Two, Chapter Three, he wakes up sick: "Sometimes he fancied he had been lying there a month; at other times it all seemed part of the same day. But of that – of that he had no recollection, and yet every minute he felt that he had forgotten something he ought to remember." It shows us that it is really important for Dostoevsky to mention about time.

The city

One of the symbols that I was thinking about was the City. My parents and grandparents grew up in St.Petersburg and my grandma still lives there so we visit her every year. When I started reading Crime and punishment I clearly saw how it was related to me. The city of St.Petersburg represented in Dostoevsky's novel as dirty and crowded city. There are always drunk people on the streets, women who ask for money, and everyone lives in tiny apartments. The confusion and chaos of St.Petersburg is a twofold symbol. It represents the society and Raskolnikov's craziness. The city represents the state of Raskolnikov's mind; he is confused, worried, lost, understandable, and mentally unstable. It represents his confusion, dirty streets, great amount of people and drunkards. This city is related to me because the city that is in the book reminds me of the city that I visit every year.

Preface

Writing my English project paper I wanted readers to feel my characters' feelings and emotions, wanted them to think about other peoples' lives, and not just about themselves. There are a lot of people who suffer and struggle, like John did, and we have no idea how hard it is for them. The narrative that i wrote attempted to capture the emotions felt by other people. Another goal of mine was to read it and compare this story to their lives and think about things that happen in the world.

Story

Marta felt the warmth of the sun on her cheek, she woke up slowly. The pain pulsed through her body, and when she opened her eyes, she realized that she fell asleep sitting on the chair, before reaching the bed. Sleeping in this position, her body was stiff and numb. She clearly remembered what happened yesterday. “So it actually happened, it wasn’t a dream”, she sleepily thought. Marta immediately jumped up and quietly approached the couch. Her friend, Kristi, was sleeping tight, and was holding a pillow. Kristi’s hair was matted; she had stains on her face because of tears. Marta was looking for Kristi all night, when she was told about her brother, John, who died in the war, and ran out of house. Kristi’s mom, Mrs. Jones, called Marta at 2 AM. At first, Marta didn’t get what Mrs. Jones was trying to tell her. At the same time she was crying and trying to explain the situation. After couple tries, Marta finally understood that John is gone, he died, and no one knew where Kristi was. Going through this shock, Marta started guessing where Kristi can be. Marta woke up her parents, and all of them together went to find Kristi. They went to the park where Kristi and Marta always hung out, and went all the way from park to Kristi’s house, and he wasn’t there. After looking for Kristi for many hours, they decided to go home because it was late and they were tired. On the way home, they saw her sitting on the porch of their house. For them, it seemed like she didn’t hear anything and didn’t see anything. Marta hugged her friend, and told her to come into the house. Marta helped her to lie on the couch, and gave her a warm blanket. Then, Kristi looked into Marta’s eyes and said: “You know, John is not there anymore, I’ll never see him again. How can the world exist when your best friend died?” Marta hugged her friend and whispered: “I know that it is hard for you, but John is in your heart, he is with you.” Marta sat with Kristi for a long time until she fell asleep. After that, she sat on the chair, and thought about Kristi’s family, as how would they live without John, how they would fight with it. Starting from that day, Kristi was trying to learn to live without her brother, and Marta learned how to be a loving friend for Kristi who would always cry and be sad. They didn’t have that joy and happiness in their friend relationships. After a month, when girls were walking in the park, Marta’s mom called her on her phone, and told them that they immediately had to go to Kristi’s house. Girls were running and hurrying as fast as they could. When they got into her house, they saw a huge army bag, and Kristi looked at Mata and said: “What kind of news would we else have? Everything is over. I don’t want to go there.” Marta took her hand and said: “Don’t be afraid, I’m going to be with you.” When they went to the living room they saw Mr and Mrs. Jones, they were crying, but they also had smiles on their faces. There was a guy who was sitting right next to them, and they were holding his hands. He didn’t have a leg, he had a lot of scars all over his face, he was really skinny, but the girls recognized him. John was looking at them. His bright blue eyes were shining like nobody else’s.